I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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