Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
