He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
