I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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