he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
