I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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