i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
