You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I need water and some morals
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
