im drinking this country out of the recession.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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