so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
