Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I want a musical about memes.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
