Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
