I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
