I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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