he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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