I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
