There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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