i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize