Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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