its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize