The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
