Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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