Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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