It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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