I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
