she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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