Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
