Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
dude. I can hear the air.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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