Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize