Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Randomize
