we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
