There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
