I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize