Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
