Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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