how can u be prego again
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
