I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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