D3 body, D1 cock
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize