The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Randomize
