tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
