She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
