Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
