she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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