next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
