You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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