i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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