Already got asked if we're dating
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
