Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she looked like the before picture.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
