Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
