Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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