Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
