he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize