i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
