It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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