in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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