If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Barsexuality is the new black.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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