is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
