in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
