um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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