I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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