quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
